UFO: I Practice Levitation

A couple of hebdomads ago I was watching American Capital play the Eagles. It was near the end of the game and I saw that American Capital could win by scoring two late-game touchdowns. In fact, I knew they would win! Then last nighttime I watched Dallas play the Eagles. Again, Dallas could mark two late-game touchdowns and win the game. In fact again, Iodine knew they would!

As I was watching television last night, I needed the little notebook from my desk so that I could enter my grandiose thoughts for new ezine articles. The notebook was about five feet away and I didn’t desire to upset the candy bowl on my lap. My married woman said, “Use levitation!”

I said, “Use Levitation! Brilliant!”

I placed my hands in levitation position, but as far as Iodine could see, the notebook did not move. I told my wife, “I’ll have got to practice.”

“Yes,” she said. “You demand to drill your levitation. Now acquire off your hindquarters joint and acquire your notebook before you bury your grandiose ideas.”

This morning time I had my first pattern session. I decided to start with lighter physical objects than the notebook. I started with a piece of paper that was here on my desk where I’m writing. From my slumber chair, I was able to raise it into the air and convey it to my lap!”

“Brilliant!”

That is what I said. I went right for my calculating machine and moved that to my lap too! At that point, Iodine decided not to run into my wife’s trade room and yell, “I tin levitate!” I wanted to do certain it was not just a fluke.

I used all of my powerfulnesses to raise my new Radio Hovel 2.4 gigahertz cordless telephone.

Nothing happened.

I tried again and it took off out of its cradle but drop to the flooring before it attain safe oasis on my lap.

I tried again. It would not travel from the floor. I picked it up and set it into its cradle.

I decided that I had just tired myself out with all the levitation activity.

I rested a few proceedings and VIOLA! I was able to raise the telephone set from the cradle on my desk and move it to my lap five feet away!

I jumped up and headed sound (like in the Bible) to my wife’s lair of craftery.

I got stopped in the hallway. It was Xrytspet!

I said, “Scram, Xrytspet! I’ve got to state my wife—“

She laughed and rolled around on the carpet. Her sides were busting!

I said, “Darn you, Xrytspet! Discontinue messing with my levitation experiments! Go back to—”

But she was gone.

The End

copyright©John T. Jones, Ph.D. 2005